Croquet at Christmas
John Dawson from Chester has provided a lighthearted activity for those croquetless winter days, or Club annual Dinner Table activity, or even when you can’t get to sleep at night!
Do players really know the meaning of our croquet jargon? Here is a list for starters, perhaps you have a different version – just play for fun but if you wish to see your efforts published – let the webmeister know by Emailing: Croquet Jargon Definitions
| Croquet Jargon Definitions | ||||
| Mallet | Posh hairdo | |||
| Hoop | Northern greeting (comes after Hey) | |||
| Ball | Posh friend of a cow | |||
| Double Banked | Two spectators at Southport FC | |||
| Split Roll | What you buy from Greggs | |||
| Full Roll | What you buy from Waitrose | |||
| Half Roll | What you buy the wife | |||
| Passing Roll | What you buy at the M6 Services | |||
| Stop Shot | A dyslexic visit to the M6 Services | |||
| Break | How you stop your moped | |||
| A Roquet | Where you get into your boat | |||
| A Croquet | Where a black bird catches the ferry | |||
| Cornering | MP chatting to a blond at Westminster | |||
| Lift | What the MP offers next | |||
| Backwards Take Off | The MP chancing his luck | |||
| Half Court | Failed catch by an English cricketer | |||
| Super Shot | Dyslexic diarrhoea | |||
| Short Tice | Dickie Bows | |||
| Long Tice | What you hang in the wardrobe | |||
| A Triple | Last orders please | |||